If I Lose Myself
by Chibiness-O-Yeahh
Summary: Jazz had thought that there would be no more secrets between her and her little brother, but she had been wrong. I do not own Danny Phantom in any shape or form.


A/N:_ Okay, so I know that I have those Pokemon Drabbles to be working on, but I haven't had any inspiration and then this kinda hit me, so yeah. Enjoy!_

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_**You're so beautiful and wonderful and sad, dear.**  
_

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Jazz tended to keep a close eye on her little brother. It was just something she had always done, something she_ needed_ to do.

And it was this very tendency that led to her discovering her brother's secret.

Her brother, Danny Fenton, and the ghost boy, Danny Phantom, were one and the same.

She honestly thought that she took it rather well and when the time came when Danny realized that she had known his secret for awhile and finally confided in her, she had been happy.

She had also thought that that was the end of secrets between them, but she _noticed_.

She noticed how dead and empty her brother's eyes sometimes seemed. How his smiles, which were dwindling in number, never quite reached his eyes anymore. How sullen and _broken_ he would sometimes look.

She saw the way that Danny would sometimes go pale if someone, even Sam or Tucker, his best friends, got too close to him. How he would stiffen if someone brushed by his side or if Jack Fenton, their father, layed a hand gently on his shoulder, saw them touch him somewhere that wasn't injured or bruised.

Especially if they went in for a hug, a _frontal _hug.

She herself even touched him sometimes to see for herself, and while his body temperature was a little lower than normal, which she contributed to his growing ice powers, she felt nothing else wrong.

No broken bones or protruding bumps.

But his reaction was still the same.

She_ saw_ these things, but she didn't _understand_.

So she watched him like a hawk. Anytime she saw her baby brother, saw that familiar black mop of hair, waltz within her field of vision, she zeroed in on him and watched.

Was he hurting internally?

Was it something she couldn't see?

Maybe it was mental? Something in his head?

Questions floated around in her head and pulled at her heart and soul because she_ just didn't know_.

One day, however, she figured it out.

Danny, Sam, and Tucker had been in the living room of the Fenton house on the couch watching some show when she had gotten home. She had said hello and had gotten a chorus of "Hey, Jazz" back from the three younger teens. She had flopped into the recliner, too tired to do anything yet and had lazily been watching the show when a tickle fight had somehow broken out between Sam and Tucker.

The goth had Tucker pinned in 10 seconds flat, so as a last resort, he'd started to flail wildly.

"Danny! Give me a hand," the geek had gasped out between laughter from his poor position on the floor.

Her brother had slowly clapped his hands, ice blue eyes twinkling, a rare sight these days, she had thought to herself.

Tucker, resigned to his fate, had pouted. "You're heartless."

And then Danny froze.

With his eyes wide and panicked, Danny had sat there looking like he'd been caught doing something unspeakable. Color had drained from his face and his mouth opened and closed like he was trying to say something, but it just wouldn't come out. However, the reaction had only lasted a second before Danny swallowed, gave a weak laugh and a witty retort.

The whole thing had gone unnoticed by Tucker and Sam, who were too busy bickering back and forth on the floor, but Jazz had seen it.

And_ this_ time, she understood.

The reason why he was scared of physical touch, why he didn't like frontal hugs and instead tried to give those awkward side hugs, why he seemed so _dead_, why that particular word had affected him so.

_Heartless._

Jazz knows she's smart, a genius even, and it wasn't hard to put the pieces in place after that and for the first time in a long time, she sincerely hoped that she was wrong.

After the tickle fight, everything else had gone smoothly. Her brother and his friends had goofed off all day to their hearts content. They'd watched t.v, played video games, which resulted in a furious Tucker ("How are you so good at video games?! You're a _girl!")_ a smug Sam ("Don't be such a sore loser, Tucker!") and a cackling Danny. Soon, it was dark and Sam and Tucker were walking out the door.

Now was her chance.

"Danny?"

After closing the door, he turned and before he could react, Jazz had him in a bone-crushing hug. She felt him stiffen under her fingertips, but she _had to know_.

"J-Jazz.."

She didn't say anything. Instead she brought her hand from behind his back and planted it firmly on his chest, her gaze boring into his. As soon as he realized what she was doing, his eyes flashed with brief panic once again before going empty, emptier than she had even seen. He looked lifeless and resigned.

Lifeless, huh?..

"Jazz, please.."

She'd never allowed herself to think too much on the whole being half ghost thing, because that could mean that her brother was half dead and she never let herself pursue that line of thinking because she didn't want to think like that because it couldn't possibly be true.

But she hadn't known that if it had been true, it would be to this extent.

It made her want to cry.

Because her baby brother, her beautiful, blue eyed, sweet baby brother, didn't have a heartbeat.

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**The end. So, how was it? Did it give you feels? Did it make you sad?**

**Or did it make you want to punch me?**

**/cackles evilly**

_**-Chibi**_


End file.
